Untitled
by UchihaFairy
Summary: This is pure crack fic. I don't mean to offend anyone with this so if you don't like it don't read it. This is not a Yaoi fic. Warning: this was wrote a few years ago.


Orochimaru &  
Sai

Who is Sai? What is Sai? How did this world get cursed with Sai bug? So many questions that need answers. So lets began sixteen years ago...

After Orochimaru took over a female s body, the sound four returned to the Sound Village or also know as Vagina Village. The sound four should be renamed to the Vagina four. Since Orochimaru was stuck looking like a female for awhile, he had to endure having boobs! Which attracted unwanted attention from any male in the Vagina Village. More to who s attention, Kidmaro aka the spider freak!

After awhile Kidmaru was winning the battle against Orochimaru. Add having hormos and being a female on top of someone not giving up, you get two very hormonal people or in the case Orochimaru and Kidmaru.

Orochimaru finally gave in to Kidmaru s wish an said yes. Besides he did kinda always wondered what it was like to be a female when it came to sex. Plus the fact that he was drunk didn t really help either.

*two months later*

Kabuto! a female voice yelled. Yes Lord Orochimaru Kabuto asked. What s wrong with me? I should be back looking like my manly self. Why do I still look like a Female? And why do these things Hurt? Orochimaru wined. Umm Daddy there called breasts not things! Cristy said.

I know that. Orochimaru said. Maybe something went wrong with the body switch Jutsu. let me check. Kabuto said using his charkra to see if anything was wrong. Umm Lord Orochimaru? Have you had sex while in this state? Kabuto asked. Why do you need to know if I did or didn t! Orochimaru said. Because your pregnant Lord Orochimaru. Kabuto said as Orochimaru looked like he just died.

HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN! Orochimaru yelled. Well Daddy sometimes a man s kunia likes to visit a woman s skuriken and if you don t use birth control something wonderful happens. Then nine months later the woman gives birth to a healthy baby. Cristy said smiling. I know how it happens Cr- off to the bathroom to throw up in the toilet he went.

Little funny things has happened for a few months, like Orochimaru having carvings for random weird things. Eating weird things, having weird arguments with everyone, like arguing over who bought the wrong toilet paper. Denying being pregnant until his belly started to show. That was about three months after finding out that he was pregnant. That s when it hit him he was really having a baby.

So we were off to the store to go baby shopping, which was really weird since the last time Orochimaru went shopping for baby stuff was when he found out he was going to be a father to Cristy. No Orochimaru wasn t the one having the baby at that time. Yes people he got a female pregnant that time, don t die on me from the shock now people. Unlike now when he s the one carrying around the child.

Since everything he owns for a baby was for a girl, they went shopping for a boy just to be safe.

Let s see we got clothes, a crib, tones of dippers, baby bottles, baby milk. Anything else that we need? Cristy said going through the list. Changing table and pacifies. Orochimaru said sounding kinda pissed. Ok. Why are you so grumpy today Daddy? You should be happy. Cristy said.

Happy? Happy! I m suppose to be happy with this thing growing inside me. Do you have any idea what this is going to do to my body. Oh god I m going to get the ugly stretch ! Now I have to pee. Orochimaru complained while walking off to the bathroom. It will be ok Daddy you ll see, four months from now I ll have a baby sister or baby brother. Cristy said. Like that s suppose to male me feel better. In those four months I m going to be so fat I won t be able to see my feet or any other body part of my body that s past my belly. Orochimaru complained about everything. Now I have to pee again! Orochimaru yelled.

We had to put up with four more months of his complaining about everything. He s now on his ninth month and already he s complaining about how everything isn t set up the way he wants it. The colors aren t right,the changing table isn t in the right place, the crib is facing the wrong way.

I thought he was bad before he got pregnant. Always ordering me around like a dog, treating me like his slave an now look he s worst than what he was before he got himself pregnant. If he thinks he s going to get to take over my body easily after this he s dead wrong. He can keep his vagina, he s not getting my penis.

Now he s complaining about the kid taking forever to come out. Hurry up an come out already! I want to get back to taking over the world but with you still in there I can t! If you take any longer in there I m going to start charging you rent. Orochimaru complained jumping up and down on his bed. Now I have to pee! Orochimaru said going to the bathroom.

I remember back in the day when I could take over the world when ever I wanted. When I could plan how to kill my sensei with play doe and how to take over his little village. Then you thought it would be funny to come along and now look at me I m so fat I can t see my feet, I can t plan to take over the Leaf Village, can t learn any new jutsus,NOTHING! Can t do anything but sit on my butt! An all you do is make me eat all day long an all night long, and every five minutes I m peeing! Orochimaru complained to us while sitting on the toilet peeing.

God it s never ending pee, it just keeps coming and coming! Does it ever stop!. Orochimaru yelled from the toilet. :That s it! Orochimaru yelled. Great he just got and idea.

Jiraiya cursed me with you to get back at me for kicking his ass. Tsunade cursed me with you to get back at me for asking her out on a date. All because it was a bet with Jiraiya to see who could get into her panties first. And Sarutobi sensei, you cursed me with this to try an prove a point to me but I don t get it this time you old Jackass. Great here he goes with his conspiracy theory on why he s in the state he is. Blaming everyone for this but himself. That s why he s in this mass he s in because he had sex without thinking again.

Why do I have to put up with this bullshit every time something goes wrong in his little plans. Ha ha this time it s a child. Anyways back to his bitching season with him on and off the toilet for six hours, then one hour of sleeping later he s still complaining off and on. Then he started to cry for no reason. I hate pregnant women. Oh wait he claims he s not a women he claims to be a man.

Kimimaro! Orochimaru yelled. What does he want now. I asked myself. Yes Lady- Lord Orochimaru. I asked. I m hungry for watermellons, strawberry ice cream and pineapples. Go get me some! Orochimaru ordered. It s three in the morning and you want watermellons, strawberry ice cream, and pineapples. I said. Yes I want it not go get it! Doesn t anyone love me around here? All I ask id for you guys to get me something I want to eat and you cat like it s going to kill you. I can t help that I m in this state. Orochimaru cried. Great now he s crying again. What s Lord Orochimaru crying about now? Sakon asked. He wants watermellons, strawberry ice cream, and pineapples. Someone go an get him some, NOW! I yelled as they got his order. Orochimaru not the only one who can t wait until this child is out then we won t have to deal with a crying, pissy, bitching Orochimaru. Oh and some onions and garlic too! Orochimaru yelled. I got his last order it s your turn Tayaya. Sakon said.

After we got his order to him we had to suffer watching him eat it. He mixed all five together. Want to try some? he ask us. Jirobo was the the brave soul to try it with his strong stomach, Tayaya went to throw up, Sakon just left, Kabuto and Cristy ran out the door, me I just sat there thinking what the hell! Orochimaru use to eat weird things before but nothing on this level. After he has this kid we are so using this to get our way for a day.

Orochimaru is due any day now to have this kid. Instead of taking it easy what is he doing, yelling at us because his house is a mess and that our rooms are disaster zones. Clean this mess up! I m not having my child born into this hell hole you seven call a home. And god what s that smell. Jirobo clean out your room it stinks like something died in it. Orochimaru yelled. Yes Lord Orochimaru! We all yelled back at him as he shut him bedroom door.

We cleaned up his house as he ordered us to then we drawled straws to see who would go check on him. And just my bad luck I got the shortest one, well here goes nothing. Lord Orochimaru? The house is clean, it s not a disaster zone no more. You can come out now. I said walking in his room.

Kabuto you better get up here! We have a problem! I yelled as everyone showed up. We don t have a problem, Lord Orochimaru is just in labor that s all. Kabuto said. Really? Yay! My little brother or sister is coming out soon! Cristy said jumping for joy while everyone else besides Kabuto and myself, had the look of yeah on their faces.

Ok I need everyones help when this kid decides to come out. Cristy you ll be helping me, Tayaya you will have to keep reminding Lord Orochimaru to keep breathing. Jirobo you will have to stay by Orochimaru s side just in case. Kimimaro you will have to stay near the door just in case I need you to get something for me and Kidmaro, you will be holding Orochimaru s hand the whole time. Kabuto said our orders.

Why do I have to hold his hand? Kidmaro wined. Because if it wasn t for you having to stick your penis somewhere we wouldn t be in this mess to begin with! Now for once in your pathetic life do what your told! Kabuto yelled at him or it I should say. Kabuto! Orochimaru yelled in pain. Shoe time people. Kabuto said.

* Ten Minutes Later*

Push Lord Orochimaru Push. Tayaya said. Ahhhh! Orochimaru screamed in pain. What doe sit look like I m doing! You slut! Orochimaru screamed in Tayaya s ear. Good Lord Orochimaru. Now one more time and... Kabuto didn t finish as a baby s cry was heard through out the house. Kabuto handed the baby to Cristy so she could clean it up, while Kabuto took care of Lord Orochimaru.

Kidmaro was crying because Orochimaru broke all six of his hands squesing them while pushing out the child. It s ugly! It looks like something throw it up. Tayaya said. Well what did you think, they come out in a pretty banket with a pink bow? Orochimaru said sitting up to see what it was. Well yeah, at least thats how they come out on TV. Tayaya said leaning over him to see the baby. Well Daddy wan to see? Cristy ask walking over with the child. Yes. Orochimaru said holding the baby.

It s a healthy baby boy. Kabuto said. A son? Now I have one of each. Orochimaru said as Cristy played with his little fingers. So what s his name Lord Orochimaru. Kabuto the kiss ass asked. I don t know.., Maybe Ty or Tobi, maybe Mar. Orochimaru thought. Well Daddy you do likes S s so how about a name that starts with an S. Cristy said. Ah yes I know now, how about Sai? Orochimaru said. Aww it s cute, I like it. Cristy said. Then that s it, from this day forward you will be known as Sai Maru. Orochimaru said.

Thus that day another child of Orochimaru was born into this world. More like we were cursed with another one of his children. That s how Sai got his name. Now that explains his fairy style in clothes, why he looks like a fag, is pale as death itself, and where he got his dark hair. That s how Sai was born into this would, now as for how the hell he became a leaf s ninja black ops is another story for another time. But Knowing Orochimaru, he was probably sent as a spy. A spy wearing fag;s clothing now that s something only a fairy himself could come up with. 


End file.
